Ladies and gentlemen, this is not a test. Repeat this is not a test. That noise you can hear is the firing of the "Jancis = AWESOME!" alert. Leave what you are doing right this second and go over to THIS LINK to listen to me act in my first staring role on a podcast. Do it. DO IT NOW!
So I’ve had a quick shower in my crappy shower cubicle, put on my PJs and am already for beddy-bies. When all of a sudden I think “I should tell people what happened in my week!” So wrapped in a dressing gown and wearing some nice slippers, I shall catch you up on my adventures.
For you JanFans (That is all your official names I have decided apart from Mark who is a JanManFan) who simply have come here to hear about my novel, I can tell you at 10:42 on the 22 November 2008 the word count stands at 37824 (76% done). Twelve thousand words in eight days. Can I do it? I should bloody hope so. I’ve been a real bastard for the last month. “Sorry I can’t come drinking. I have a book to write. Hmm? No, I don’t drink. Eh? No, I just like watching people being drunk. You see I am a really horrible guy who finds you being stupidly pissed funny. Then I like being able to remember it and flaunt it over you.”
Also I have started adding people into my book without getting permission. BECAUSE I CAN. Sarah and Mark have a completely pointless chapter about them but its quite bizarrely funny. What do you mean you want a quote? Oh for frell’s sake. “She began to kick at the birds who were vainly trying to get to the bag by jumping and flapping. Their lack of flight was clearly hindering their mugging abilities.” You happy now? Bloody hell.
So that’s NaNoWriMo. Now we move onto the play.
So a few weeks back my teacher for acting asked me if I had a job. When I said no, he said would I like to be in the second year play? So I said yes and I got to meet the Second Year for their performance of “Spring Awakening”. I looked shifty as I stood in the Baptist Church hall and looked around at the Bright Young People. “Oh ho” thought I “I don’t even know everyone in my First Year group. How will I learn all your names?” (Psssst. I haven’t.) I was cast as both a teacher and a priest. It was four lines and a long speech. Sadly two of the lines were taken away when my teacher, playing the headmaster, cut it out so he didn’t have to learn more lines.
They needed someone else to fill an empty spot of one of the school boys. In rehearsals, I got to play that role but I couldn’t be a boy AND a teacher. Thus followed me going around my peers going “You want to be in a play? What do you mean you have too much do?” So we finally got someone on our third try, two weeks before we performed. (He did quite well, by the by).
We had to work the rehearsals around when the Second Years were free and so were we. We weren’t allowed to miss lectuares until this week. But it was just a video THAT I AM GOING TO WATCH WHEN I GET HOME. But it worked out in the end.
So we all tried to pull together the play and it kind of did. Sure no one was really sure of his or her lines on the first night and we stopped a few times. In the dress rehearsal, I forgot a line and asked for a prompt. She couldn’t find it so I actually said “Okay, I’m calling the funeral short” and gave my smug head bump. Then that night, the bit of me that deals with creative musing (PAM for those of you following along at home) went “Nope, sorry. Wiped that bit out so you can remember the fact that you forgot your line.” So I skipped it. Then the guy who was next just went “Oh, he’s finished” and moved on. But it taught us all a lesson and the next two lights went much better.
Funny story. The stage doors at the back of the theatre have electric locks and when the main building locks so do those doors. Thus our main character was locked back stage on the first night. It was extra funny because he had been late earlier finding a prop and walked in going “I have found my book. It was on the porch. Now what were we talking about?” “Ah yes” says the other actor “I believe I was saying something along the lines of-” Hee-larious. So tonight we had to prop the doors. And all the doors in the place slam like no one’s business. So we had to get dressed without talking.
But I really had fun with it and got to meet some cool people while helping them with their exam work. Hopefully I have got myself onto the radar. Bigger and better things!
And now I catch up on all the presentation work I put off so I could do the play. I can do it. I’m great at winging things…I think. I HOPE. Anyway, I have a book to go write!
Doctor Ethan Quayle is a great man. He is young, handsome and charismatic. Oh and he is also the evil scientist who blew up Pluto. (He didn’t mean to). After surrendering to police, Ethan sits in his jail cell awaiting his trial. He remembers his life, from his birth in a church cloakroom to his rise to Public Enemy Number Two (after Captain David Thawe, the man who helped him become the villain he is today.) He isn’t expecting understanding or agreement with his actions. He simply wants to tell his story. Ladies and gents (and Igors) I gave you the tale of The Fall of Ethan Quayle (Evil Scientist)