Wednesday, April 23, 2008

My lack of planning is, in itself, a plan. Just not a very good one.

See, I have trouble with these. I’m stuck in what can be called a daily grind of nothing. Get up and fill the day until you collapse in a heap at four in the morning. Not blog worthy. I took this year so I could write and I found out that the major problem is I have a very short att

So I’ve had development on the two pieces of “acting”. First up, I got into the Buffy podcast and have roles. Beautiful roles that use both my tongue AND my lips (That came out weird…er) What roles can never be told because…you know, I would do the normal “They work on a demon-filled podcast and funnily enough have creatures to eat your kidneys” spiel but I think you’re smart enough to work through all that. No I don’t, I think you’re all idiots paling before my brilliance. Wait I don’t mean that, come back! Fine leave me, I don’t need you anyway. I DON’T HAVE A PROBLEM, YOU HAVE THE PROBLEM. YOU’RE NOT MY REAL MOTHER!

Glad we sorted that out then. So yes, expect more on that when it drops. Suffice to say I’m doing small foot-wiggling dances over the excitement.

Second piece is “Oliver!” which I succeeded in getting the Bill Sykes role. Good. Then they told me “You know having you being scary and then bursting into song would ruin the mood. No singing for you!” This has made the rehearsals slightly less…fun what with the sitting on the floor for hours on end as you have to hear “Food, Glorious Food” for the sixth time. Now with harmonies. What larks! Yet I remain sure that things will soon turn around and I’ll beating woman to death in the not too distant future. (Boy that’s going to come back to bite me in a Google search.)

See what I meant? Nearly a month of my life reduced to nearly two hundred and fifty words. I’m getting magazines through and going “Hmm, I just got that four weeks ago.” Sand through my fingers. Sand through my fingers.

Speaking of all that, loans have been signed and papers are awaited. That’s right. I’m going to uni definitely and surely (Which you’d think would have warranted its own posting had it not being for the crippling ennui [Oh, I’m changing my mind; Ennui is the reason nothing gets done. Put that on a mug and I’ll have the monocle off the King of Spain’s very eyeball. Then WORLD DOMANTION {This is a lot of brackets}])

I’m going to Southampton Solent for one really good reason and many decent reasons. But one really good one, which is as follows: Every other place went “You have a beard and the ability to string basic sentences togther. Come on in.” And I fell for it. But then Southampton wanted a proper audition and said “You have too much facial hair and talk too much but we’re willing to risk you.” So they got me for being passively mean which makes me a strange masochist . “Yeah tie me up but only enough so it slightly stings and gently stroke me with the whip!” (And may that image stay with you for the rest of the day. My gift to you.)

And on to Fitcher. I’m going to keep kicking and whining over that. Love it if you love me. DO IT! DO IT OR I’LL STOP DOING THAT THING YOU LIKE WITH THE CUSTARD AND THE BUDGY! Harsh but fair.
Why as there been such a break? Say it with me. E! “E” N! “N” N! “N” U! “U” I! “I”. What’s that spell? “The reason you haven’t written a decent third part which doesn’t make you cry in a corner sobbing ‘I’m a hack. I’m a hack’!!!” Close enough! That and losing a place to work what with having to move things when the fridge decided that keeping things cold was passé. Then again it’s the dining room table. If I use the study I’d use the internet and then nothing would be done. Nothing! I’M WEAK WILLED! (Chalk up third reason for continued FAIL!)

What else have I done recently? Ah, went to see the second half of “His Dark Materials” performed at Bath. Why the second? Because my sister gave my the 24 hour flu which knocked me out on that day. I had tried to read all three books before I went and was a hundred pages into “The Amber Spyglass”. Saw the play then kept reading. One question though: WHY THE HELL WERE THERE ROLLERSKATING ELEPHANTS!? THERE WERE NONE IN THE PLAY AND IT DID FINE. OKAY THE SPYGLASS BECAME A NON-PLOT. BUT WHY THE HELL WERE THEY THERE? I ACCEPT THE POLAR BEARS IN ARMOUR AND THE FACT YOUR SOUL IS AN ANIMAL BUT ELEPHANTS! ON SKATES? (Elephants on Roller-Skates was to become the title of Jancis autobiography)
Which makes me wonder if the play was better. Yes, Lee just disappeared never to be seen or heard of again. Yes the angels were just people in long dresses on wires which made them seem like bad Peter Pans. Oh and what sort of name is “Glorious Wings” anyway? I would have preferred “NoName” to sounding like a hair metal band.

So that was my month more or less. I’m promising myself I’m going to get an early night and sit and work on the next File. My public demands it in a blasé read-if-it’s-there manner!
(You’d never guess I write this as train of thoughts would you?)

Edit: Complete your "HDM" experience with one of these bad boys. No comment.

1 comment:

Big Sal said...

I may not be your real mother, but I still love you :P