So it seems I made a promise that I failed to uphold.
It is my duty to avenge the wrong I have done.
This is for you, Pat.
Dr Jancis’ Guide to Not Licking Things: Volume 31: Cats
Before we start we must get a few things straight.
It’s bigger then you.
And you are not me.
That done, we can get onto the matters at hand.
The reasons one should not apply salivated linguas to felines.
When I used the example of this, I was using it as an example of self evident things. It is evident that the internet has little privacy and it is evident that licking cats is foolish.
Yet curious minds wish to know reasons for this.
We must note the existence of fleas. There is a reason that cats must continuously lick themselves. That is fleas. The cat needs to keep washing. If they don’t, the fleas were bury deep into their bodies. Bury deep into their soft supple flesh. Bury and wait. Just wait for its moment to burst forth from the skin. To burst forth and claim its next victim.
You shouldn’t be.
I mean you didn’t put your mouth near that cat did you?
You were smart and listened to old Jancis didn’t you?
You didn’t put your mouth near that kitten?
Didn’t feel the slight twinge as a mite leapt from the creature’s back and landed on your tongue?
Didn’t feel it slowly travel down your gullet, throwing out its eggs as it fell?
Didn’t wait knowing that they await the time, slowly heated by your warm body?
Didn’t feed it Christmas dinner and mulled wine so it may grow big and strong?
So you shouldn’t be itching.
Because you listened to me.
Okay, Pat. Hope that answered your question.
Come back next time for more fun Jancis fun!
5 years ago