Sunday, January 21, 2007

2. (The First Day)

*This means inner thoughts*

We pan up higher.
SIX MONTHS LATER is written in nice letters over a cloud.
We pan down to the small village of Krakis. It is a happy enough place. A little ramshackle but liveable. We begin to fly past people going about their daily lives. As we keep going, we catch a glimpse of Kieran wearing an old blue blanket he has made into a cloak. He enters a large hall with “Craig’s” scrawled over the doorway.
As we continue to rise and move, we fly in a open window of the second floor of the Inn.
There is a large lump wrapped up in the bed clothes. The blanket is the same as Kiki’s cloak.

Knock Knock
The lump rolls over.
Voice:Mr Jancis.
The lump has a head poke out of it.
Jancis: What is it, Min? We’re not on patrol today! Leave me alone. I don’t want to go to school.
He curls back up into a ball.
Minnie: It’s the mayor. He wants to see you.
Jancis: Can’t he wait until after breakfast?
Minnie: It’s already eleven!
Jancis sits up fully in bed now.
Jancis: Well, I haven’t had breakfast yet! I'm a monster before I have breakfast!
Minnie: What do you want then?
He thinks for a while.
Jancis: Pancakes.
Minnie: You got it!
Jancis: You’re an angel, Min.
Minnie: Don’t I just know it?
Jancis swings his legs out of the bed. He’s wearing a nightshirt. He stretches.
Jancis: Time to get dressed!
Walk over to the chest of drawers.
Jancis: Clean socks and underwear! I love inns. I’m going to wear the duck socks today.
Lift the pillow.
Jancis: Trousers and shirt where I left them.
Pick up coat.
Jancis: Ah, Cecilia. I promise I’ll get you washed next time we stop in a town.
Takes the coat off the hook.
Jancis: That’s it. Time to wash and then I can have panny-cakes! Yay!
He walks into the bathroom and closes the door.
It opens a few seconds later to show Jancis fully dressed. He closes the door and pulls out a key and unlocks his bedroom door. He slips on his shades and walks out into the corridor.

As Thomas walks towards the stairs, he passes past a room.
Woman: Is that you Spike?
Thomas looks at the door with a little interest.
Jancis: Yeah, babe it’s me!
Woman: Did you bring the whipped cream?
Jancis backs away and runs down the stairs.
Woman: Well, did you?
Jancis: Um, no?
Woman: Go away then!
Jancis shrugs and walks down the stairs.

The bar/dinning room is small. Minnie, a woman in her late fifties stands behind the bar. Jancis nods at her and she nods back. A man with a shaved head sits at the bar drinking hard, his legs over the barstools. A man-sized cat sits at one of the tables eating fish. She is only dressed in a short blue jacket and has a small pendent around her neck. She glances up as Thomas enters but then goes back to her meal.
Talk to the catgirl
Jancis: *She’s eating her breakfast. She won’t want a stranger butting in on feeding time.*
Talk to the skinhead
Jancis: You Spike?
Spike: Who wants to know?
Jancis: Your girlfriend is looking for you.
Spike: Oh no. She’s my sister.
Goes back to drinking.
Jancis: …
Spike looks up.
Spike: I’m joking.
Spike swings his legs onto the floor and downs his glass.
Spike: Another grog.
Min: You got the cash for that?
He bangs his glass on the bar.
Spike: Don’t ask. Just serve like a good woman!
Jancis turns away to “face the camera”.
Jancis: *I’ve got a nasty feeling I might have to punch this guy.*
Sit at the bar.
Jancis slips onto the barstool. A plate is placed before him. He smiles and nods. He picks up the cutlery and begins to eat.
Spike: Hey.
He gestures at the catgirl.
Spike: Have you ever seen anything like that before?
Jancis: Not looking up She’s a Tacchip. What of it?
Spike: She’s weird.
Tacchip: She can hear you!
Spike: Shu’ up!
Jancis: Looking up at Min Have you seen Keek today?
Minnie: Your friend left a few minutes ago.
Jancis: Where was he going?
Minnie: Last night, we had a group come from fighting Teacher.
Jancis: You mean the dodjo leader?
Minnie: Yes. Your friend said he could probably beat him. So he went to challenge him.
Jancis: Oh.
Keeps eating
Jancis: Nice pancakes.
Minnie: Thanks.
Spike: You got any whipped cream?
Jancis: *I’m soooo bored*
We begin to pull up.

There is a large crash and Kieran is knocked to the ground into shot.
A man stands above him, holding a quarterstaff. He is known as Teacher or Mr Craig to his friends. Which he has many of, you just can’t meet them. They’re all busy.
He begins to poke Kieran in the chest with his staff.

Man: You’re beaten. That will be two hundred gold.
Kieran brushes it away.
Kiki: Listen Mr Craig.
Craig smashes his staff hard into Kieran’s stomach. He winces.
Mr Craig: It’s Teacher until you best me.
Kiki: Look Teacher. I don’t have any money on me.
The staff is dug in deeper.
Mr Craig: No money?
Kiki: No. My travelling companion keeps it.
Mr Craig: He doesn’t trust you with the money?
Kiki: Long story.

We cut to the road outside Yardale. Kieran and Thomas sit cross-legged on the side of the road. They are both naked.
Kiki: I thought-
Jancis: Shut up.
Kiki: It was an easy bet.
Jancis: Shut up!
Kiki: I’m hungry.
Jancis: Well you shouldn’t have bet everything!
Kiki: Now what?
Jancis: I’m going to get my coat back.
We see Jancis’ top half from behind. Across his back are two long vertical scars.
Kiki: How?
Jancis: I’m going to use my super-duper secret skill to get my clothes back. And my money. And my food.
He looks down.
Jancis: But first I need to get some trousers.
He walks off-screen right. Kieran sits there and then lifts his arm and stares at it.
Kiki: I hadn’t noticed that mole before.

Back to the dojo.
Kiki: And ever since then, Jancis has kept the money.
Mr Craig: You are a strange little man.
He hits Kieran in the throat with the staff. Kieran begins to choke.
Mr Craig: And now you’re going to die. You see what happens when you get cocky with me. You must have heard I’m unbeatable.
Kiki: Ja…JANCIS!
Mr Craig: You saying that your friend will pay for you?
Kiki: Yaaaa…YES!
He hits Kieran in the spot again. Kieran gets to his knees holding his throat.
Mr Craig: Fair enough. I’ll send a runner.
He pulls Kieran to his feet and walks him into the backroom.
Mr Craig: You want some tea? I have some di-ching-na.

Back to the inn. Spike is in full drunk-mode. The catgirl has taken a seat on the leftside of Jancis. She seems to be trying to drink her drink as quick as she can.
Spike: And that’s why you should never screw a centaur.
There is no reaction.
Tacchip: Sip u hyhen!
Jancis: Si paci hp!
Tacchip: (Looking at him now) Oea pwiul Tacchi?
Jancis: H jiucr jhnnji tced ncuqijp.
She laughs
Jancis: I’m not very good though.
She extends a paw.
Tacchip: Flora
He shakes.
Jancis: Thomas Jancis.
Spike: Speak human, you pussies. Hey, the pussy and the cat.
Jancis: (Not looking around) Shut up Spike and go bugger your sister.
Minnie: You better duck!

1) A + B
Jancis ducks as Spike tries to glass him.
Jancis swings back on his chair and into Flora’s arms. She pushes him at the skin head. Jancis falls and strikes out hard with his left fist. Gravity and momentum knocks Spike off his chair. to 2
The glass hits Jancis. He falls face first into the bar. Spike grabs Jancis by hair and prepares to smash him into the bar. to 1A

1A) A
Jancis pushes out with his hands and falls backwards. He and Spike tumble off their chairs. to 2
Spike slams Jancis' head down into the bar. He then pulls him back.
You are given four tries before Jancis is knocked out. You then have to start again.

Jancis rolls and tries to elbow Spike.
Jancis smashes into Spike's face. Spike pushes Jancis to his feet. to 3
Spike headbutts Jancis who staggers backwards. to 4

A woman who can only be Sister Spike stands in the stairway. If there was plastic surgery in this world, she would be a world champion. She looks irate and pouty until a chair almost knocks her down. She flees to her room.

Spike dives at Jancis.

B+A+A+A+B+A + B
Jancis pulls off a perfect handspring and lands on the table. He
stops and looks confused at the camera. He shrugs and lifts a chair over his head. to 5


The two men crash into each other. They wrestle hard but Spike gets the upperhand. He slips his hands around Jancis' neck and begins to squeeze. There is a loud snap.
Want to try again?


Spike throws his barstool
Jancis ducks the stool. He looks smug but doesn’t dodge the punch to the face. to 6
The stool hits Jancis in the forehead.
He drops the chair on top of his head, stunning himself.
to 6

Spike grabs Jancis by his shirt and swings him off the table. Spike brings his arm back to strike.

We’re back to the slightly birdseye view of the bar (which is a mess). Flora and Minnie stay back, both holding broken bottles.
Spike: You’re dead!

Voice: Mr Jancis?
The room’s inhabitants look at the doorway where a small boy now stands.

More than three fails
Jancis doesn't move.
Minnie: Mr Jancis?
Spike shakes the body.
Jancis ragdolls.
Spikes drops the body as quickly as he can and legs it out of the door.
We zoom in on the bloodied body of Jancis.
Do we want to try again?

Less than three Fails
Jancis raises his head weakly.
Jancis: I’m here.
The boy scurries to stand before him.
Boy: I’m sorry to interrupt your bar brawl but I’ve been sent to tell you that if you don’t pay the bet made by your friend, my master is going to snap his neck like the vermin he is.
He sticks out his hand. Jancis looks down and then into the boy’s face. The boy waggles his hand. Jancis sighs and swings back. He brings both feet into Spike’s crotch. He drops to the ground and Jancis lands in a heap. He struggles to his feet and pulls a coin out of his pocket. The boy pockets it.
Boy: You have a day until he's killed.
Jancis nods. The boy leaves. Jancis sighs and collapses.


Mark said...


But what would have happened if you hadn't pressed A + B in time? I demand alternate endings!

The artist currently/forthwith known as DJ TJ said...

Your demand is my rewrite.

Mark said...