Sunday, March 04, 2007

Moon Madness

There are three unavoidable things in this life. You will pay taxes, you will die and you will do something to garner my disdain.

Today’s is the citizens of Bath.

Today I went to the theatre to better expand my clever. When I left I saw that people were looking up into the sky, mouths agape.

I looked up and thought “lunar eclipse” and moved on. As I waited for my mother more people came out and had their little brains blasted. I could see their minds say the following:
“There Is No Moon!…!THERE ShoULd Be A MooN!!!!! MYAHHHHHHH!”

I wished to erect a sign:
People Of Bath
YES: There’s a lunar eclipse
YES: It’s impressive
NO: It’s not the end of the world
NO: Your God has not left you to starve away from his love
Just keep walking and stop cluttering the streets,
you brain dead mongoloids.

Thankfully, my “grumpiness” as Mum called it meant we avoided the roadworks because…the workers had the brains blasted. Just standing there.
We get the word lunatic from the idea of the moon driving people mad. Now I know it’s true.
Just have to find out if woman’s periods link in with the moon. Hate to see what a eclipse does to them. Probably makes them lactate butter.

So we switched on the radio so we could enjoy this:
“Enthusiasts are enjoying a clear view of the lunar eclipse”

Enthusiasts! Are there people saying “The Moon’s my favourite celestial body. It used to be Pluto but it’s not a planet so it sucks now. If I had to have sex with a lump of rock, it would definitely be the Moon.”
Anyway, Tintin was a lot more interesting with the solar eclipse.

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